The Walk-Off

It was recently announced at my work that we had acquired another agency and were going to be moving to their digs…new digs that for me personally are about another 20 miles away from my home but whatever.

All earth damaging commute effects aside, I was actually pretty excited on this announcement as it means a bigger office which in turn means bigger clients which in turn means bigger budgets which in turn ultimately means I get allocated a functioning computer that is not taken out of a 1980s elementary school and the use of a working elevator…sweet.

In ode to this announcement, our newly acquired office hosted an engagement party of sorts where we all celebrated the new couple, toasting and cheering as the collective embark through the matrimony of becoming one super agency or -- if we continue on my wedding analogy -- the Bradgelina of agencies (granted they are not married, but I think you would agree with my analogy, non?). Further analogous yet necessary details I should share...I feel that acquiring agency is the future husband as represented by the fact that A) we did nothing to plan the event, just showed up to eat and drink B) we expect our newly acquired “wife” to acclimate to our way of doing things since we “acquired" and C) the need to explain our “wearing of the pants” as further represented by this entire post.

Being that this was the event of the communications century, it was natural that we had donned our Thursday best in this meet and greet of communication powerhouses. And for an office that has made the word casual dress a way of life instead of a only on Fridays attire, trust me we looked fantastic. However, the spiffy dress seemed a little too natural for all the sister/brother wives and I began to get the sneaking suspicion that maybe we were left out of the fashionable memo.

Dramatization (names and conversation have been changed to fit the screen)
A to the n-gee: Hey, it was great to see you, fabulous office
Former colleague, turned future colleague: It was good to see you too
A to the n-gee: Question, I noticed everyone was dressed up in the office, is there a dress code?
Former colleague turned future colleague: Yes, but we do have dress down Friday’s
A to the n-gee: OMG, tell me your kidding, I live in my flip flops in the summer time
Former colleague, turned future colleague: Well you can wear flip flops on Fridays. Jeans are discouraged but sometimes people dress them up during the week
A to the n-gee: Interesting, I was told our dress code would not change
Former colleague, turned future colleague: Well maybe when you guys get here the code will change, but they do like you to dress business casual
A to the n-gee: So what your telling me is that it is a walk-off
Former colleague, turned future colleague: ?
A to the n-gee: it’s a walk off!!!
Former colleague, turned future colleague: Logged off at 1:23 pm

WHAT? Now I don’t know about you, but doesn’t this go against everything an acquisition stands for? Now, I am not going to say I know all there is about the glorious world of mergers and acquisitions, but after watching funding boy in action a time or two, I would say I think I know enough to know that if we acquire it pretty much means its our way or the highway, right?

Am I supposed to shelve my pumas and flip-flops and dust off my Miu Mius and Choos just so that I can have the look of success 24/7 and not just when the guys that pay the bills are in the office? What is it about clothes that require pressing and shoes that require practice that would make one more successful in their job anyway?

In true territorial fashion, sans the pee to mark territory bit, we (the sister/brother husbands herein just referred to as “we”) are planning to stage a walk-off, old school rules apply, to see who wins the battle of the dress code. While I know that we should move on and dress the part (hey it might even be a great boost to our self esteem to sport the look of success), we just can’t move on and now seemed embodied in a bitter “we wear the pants in this relationship” battle that we are the only ones privy to, and by we I mean the few sister/brother husbands that live by the code of the flops.

Henry David Thoreau once said, “Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes”, amen brother, amen. I would just like to add “or any enterprise that requires that your ‘going to bars’ shoes double as work shoes”. May the better flops, uhh shoes, win.