Open Letter to Britney Spears

Dear Britney,

Britney, I tried to stick by you I really did. But after tonight’s Matt Lauer interview, I just don’t think I have even an ounce left in me to even give you any street cred.

Cheetos are not your friend. I understand that you are pregnant and that this is your second child, but for the love of God. Look at the likes of Gwen, Catherine Zeta Jones, Angelina, SJP, my sister…they all rock the fabulous duds while being knocked up. They make it have a certain dignity to it, while you give the whole barefoot and pregnant a whole new meaning. Well okay, not so barefoot since you insist on wearing those HIDIOUSLY glorified platform flip-flops you probably call your “cute sandals” ugh.

Instead of supporting that free loading flee infested hoe bag of a husband of yours maybe you should be putting those funds into a good colorist, an even better make up artist and the best stylist you can find. No one likes to see a pop princess looking like a run down chubby Courtney Love. Especially not me.

You should also consider hiring a new publicist and a media trainer. Your eloquence baffles me, I am in awe of such Pulitzer worthy phrases such as “we’re country.” Yes, yes I guess we are a little country every now and again, but you are on Dateline not Texas Justice, please act accordingly.

Lastly, just dump K-Fed and cut your loses. Just get out before he accrues any more interest, err, alimony. While I do not discredit karma at work here for scamming on a baby daddy while the baby mama was preggers, you have somewhat paid for your mistakes and we ALL need to move on. Please, let us all move on without the Fed.

We all love pop princesses and, admittedly, you were the best around. You are one helluva entertainer and an even better hit maker and, I think I speak for all when I say, we long for more maufactured goodness from you.

Sincerely,
A to the n-gee